tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21286562011471770462024-03-04T22:18:39.781-08:00The Bradley's...Red Birds In Paradise City..A Place For My Thoughts And RamblingsLaura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-76875884591247729212023-01-19T11:32:00.004-08:002023-01-19T11:32:26.602-08:00<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>We allow life to bend us with things such as exhaustion, hurts, pains, unforgiveness, relationship issues, family issues, work etc. If we keep allowing these things to bend us.. they will eventually break us. Take control of your life today and quit allowing life to control you. </b></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEithd_QzhYLs6Q0KU8A8KDv8Tpx4MIghexAFFob_abmBH17OjYSrKY5MYeKc6UsnY4JHTkD9Qt73NrFHarBhOnWMsEqWnCrfSdzxmWdk0G6pxxB0AA6jcXr1G4GLsoKBfuYiCIGrpmwzljvmAWie3A-MYCYceCqiTkiw9Rr8DhpGXGjI1hTDl0peKTfaQ/s1080/325874388_1123600342000059_7504983195298471005_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEithd_QzhYLs6Q0KU8A8KDv8Tpx4MIghexAFFob_abmBH17OjYSrKY5MYeKc6UsnY4JHTkD9Qt73NrFHarBhOnWMsEqWnCrfSdzxmWdk0G6pxxB0AA6jcXr1G4GLsoKBfuYiCIGrpmwzljvmAWie3A-MYCYceCqiTkiw9Rr8DhpGXGjI1hTDl0peKTfaQ/s320/325874388_1123600342000059_7504983195298471005_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span class="x3nfvp2 x1j61x8r x1fcty0u xdj266r xhhsvwb xat24cr xgzva0m xxymvpz xlup9mm x1kky2od" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; display: inline-flex; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; height: 16px; margin: 0px 1px; vertical-align: middle; white-space: pre-wrap; width: 16px;"><br /></span>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-45500365145842811032023-01-18T10:43:00.004-08:002023-01-18T10:43:54.318-08:00Change Your Mindset.. Change Your Life!<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Change Your Mindset.. Change Your Life!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FBjZb6F5BoU" width="320" youtube-src-id="FBjZb6F5BoU"></iframe></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /> <p></p>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-71640824996113838432023-01-17T09:18:00.000-08:002023-01-17T09:18:10.576-08:00Let's Talk About Baggage...<p></p><h2 style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>Let's Talk About Baggage...</b></h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/77ZYxJKxbKU" width="320" youtube-src-id="77ZYxJKxbKU"></iframe></div><br /> <p></p>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0Pilot Point, TX 76258, USA33.396503 -96.96056085.0862691638211572 -132.1168108 61.706736836178848 -61.804310799999996tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-19673443827346921422023-01-17T09:14:00.002-08:002023-01-17T09:14:45.034-08:00You Can Get Bitter Or You Can Get Better.. The Choice Is Yours..<div style="text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is gonna be a long one… real, raw, honest truth bomb</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://laurabradleylifecoach.com/" target="_blank">Laura Bradley, Certified Life Coach & Mentor</a><br /></span></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">December 26th, 2022 I decided it was time I quit making excuses, get out of my own head, quit being my own worst enemy, make the changes I knew I needed to make and practice what I preach. For years I have talked to people about this very thing and mentored them into "changing their mindset to change their life" but I could not muster up enough strength to actually do that for myself. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">The last 2 years have been some of <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>the hardest of my entire life, with last year (2022) being the worst. I allowed circumstances, other people's actions and my own insecurities & actions to turn me into someone I had never been before and someone I absolutely despised. Raw honest truth right here, I allowed myself to seek "comfort" in alcohol... A LOT of alcohol. Now don't get me wrong, I used to drink socially, on the weekends or at special events and had no issue with alcohol. It wasn't until I started spiraling with my mental health that I allowed the alcohol to start taking control of me. I was to the point that I was drinking a LOT every single day.. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">When I had heart surgery in March, it set off what I call a mini (seemed huge to me) "mental breakdown". I had been so healthy for so long then had a second stroke in December of 2021 followed by a third a week before my heart surgery in March of 2022. These series of events followed by the trauma I was experiencing in my family and personal life sent my body into a tailspin which brought on non stop anxiety and panic attacks.. I had never experienced panic attacks before or the severe anxiety I immediately started having. Every time I had a good day, the next day would be worse and the cycle continued until I found a Psychiatrist to prescribe me the right medication and a Therapist to help guide me through my seasons of anxiety. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I eventually was able to get to the point where I could wean myself off the medication and my doctor checked my labs which showed my hormones were way out of whack.. I started hormone therapy and immediately started feeling better... Until more family and life "drama" started happening again. I then started seeking a way to "clear my mind" and turned to alcohol... I am not proud of my decision by no means but this is my story and my raw truth. The alcohol then caused my anxiety to come back then as the vicious cycle goes, I would drink more to "get rid" of the anxiety.. It was a vicious cycle and I was on a hamster wheel going nowhere.. I was so far away from God and my relationship with Him was almost non existent. My anxiety and panic attacks were back and there was no stopping them. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">But Then God... I started slowly speaking to Him again, I started asking Him to help me, help me break the grip anxiety, panic and alcohol had on me. I firmly believe God allowed me to experience all of this, to draw me back to Him.. So His glory could be shown through my experiences and story. Once I started speaking to and seeking Him again, I would get anxiety every time I took a sip of alcohol, then it started tasting bad and I started realizing God was breaking that chain for me. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">For so long I could not go one day without "getting a buzz".. I am now on almost a month and still going. I am now able to see things differently again. I started working out everyday again, practicing Yoga, meditating and practicing mindfulness. Instead of scrolling through facebook, I now read self help books, scripture and talk to God. I was able to have a drink with friends the other night and not have the urge to drink more. Life feels so different for me now, this will sound crazy to some but even the smell of the outdoors smells different.. </div></div><div class="x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs xtlvy1s x126k92a" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;">I am so thankful that God never leaves our side, even when sometimes He has every right to do so. I am so thankful for the last 2 years because without those hard times, I would not be where I am today.. I MADE IT.. And so can YOU.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2JK6MTtYOteqg8DfyUij5QUIcUvHue94ODFoO4qZsnWQu1nxN9j3fFQlUxGCOYKGyREL6A-D5fAKqjaJYqLQ9-B6fLp92aKUIG4BrNCSPQQk1C5fxo4Kewrr5Lci1jFJ1VMHT9QVD1ric_NdcegY6uX9XgOp2kvnk9Nfwbp723zzDF0R8iBVVQAU64g/s940/325669375_2084887138388758_5975649104594184922_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="940" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2JK6MTtYOteqg8DfyUij5QUIcUvHue94ODFoO4qZsnWQu1nxN9j3fFQlUxGCOYKGyREL6A-D5fAKqjaJYqLQ9-B6fLp92aKUIG4BrNCSPQQk1C5fxo4Kewrr5Lci1jFJ1VMHT9QVD1ric_NdcegY6uX9XgOp2kvnk9Nfwbp723zzDF0R8iBVVQAU64g/s320/325669375_2084887138388758_5975649104594184922_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></div></div>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-26749141850243191352018-09-16T14:04:00.000-07:002018-09-16T14:04:43.932-07:00Week 2 - The Bag Of Grief<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_kDrlK0lLG2oShXqjQj1r-QZvqvtaE8x4A8meeaasrWdZtS3m3DSl1PD1_B6ulcWpgp_5Stg00pXtoJxx4mmnOWKDE8tGNEJ1KUCxS_QyTNttsxr5xhE4iFu2REHgQDJVDtuPv9XiVUei/s1600/grief-walk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="641" data-original-width="736" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_kDrlK0lLG2oShXqjQj1r-QZvqvtaE8x4A8meeaasrWdZtS3m3DSl1PD1_B6ulcWpgp_5Stg00pXtoJxx4mmnOWKDE8tGNEJ1KUCxS_QyTNttsxr5xhE4iFu2REHgQDJVDtuPv9XiVUei/s320/grief-walk.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Week 2 – The Bag Of Grief<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jesus Wept. John
11:35<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jesus wept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The shortest
verse in the English Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus wept
because his good friend Lazarus, who was Mary and Martha’s brother, passed away
and his Sisters were very sad and grieving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Jesus felt compassion for their loss and in His humanity, He cried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He did not cry over the actual death of
Lazarus because He knew Lazarus would be spending eternity with Him in Heaven,
He cried out of human compassion for the ones who were so hurt by the loss of
their loved one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems only
appropriate that I write about the Bag Of Grief as our family has experienced great
loss in the last 2 years, most recently being last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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Grief comes in many different stages, forms etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can grieve over a situation, a life that
turned out differently than we had planned, or we can find ourselves grieving
the loss of a loved one we held very dear to our hearts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each situation has a place for a different
type of grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all grieve in our own
way.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My Father passed away December 9<sup>th</sup>, 2016 and I remember
the day as if it were yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My Daddy
had been in the hospital off and on for quite some time, he was a very sick man
and on this particular day, he was feeling somewhat better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had been in the hospital this time around
for about 2 weeks or so and they were running every test they could to “check
things off the list” and the last test needed was a colonoscopy that was to be
done later that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had not been to
the hospital in a few days and this particular day I was out showing property
in a very rural area with spotty cell phone service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember I had spoken to my mother that
morning and she informed me of the timeline that was to take place, I had told
her to “keep me posted”.. Around 6 or so that evening I was walking an acreage
property an hour away from the hospital with my clients when my nephew had the
painful task of calling me to let me know my Father had just passed and I needed
to get to the hospital fast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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In those painful moments, leaving the property, loosing cell
phone reception and driving as fast as I could to get to Greg who could drive
me to the hospital, I just remember thinking and repeating “Be strong, you have
to remain strong for everyone, everyone around you needs you to be there for
them, do not break.. whatever you do.. do.. not.. break”.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am going to be very real and raw with you right now and some
may judge and call me “cold hearted” “lacking compassion and sympathy” among
other things and that’s OK.. this is my story of “grief” not yours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my nephew called, I tried as hard as I could
to force my tears to come, in the days that followed.. I tried to cry because
that is what I was supposed to do.. At the funeral home picking out the casket,
arranging the service, watching my mother weep.. I could not produce one single
tear. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the funeral, I sat in complete
silence watching my children, my mom, my family.. Making sure I was being the
strong one I thought I should be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sitting
on the front row as guests made their way to the front to hug us and offer us
words of encouragement, all I could think about was where the exit was and how
fast I could get there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not want
people telling me it was going to be OK.. that my daddy was “in a better place..”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me in those moments, the “better place” would
have been right there, sitting next to me.. not lying in a casket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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My way of grieving was to bottle it up, put the lid on it
and tuck it away until I had nothing else going on and no one was around to see
me weak, THEN I could pull it out a little at a time and allow myself to “feel”
the pain in small doses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the meantime,
I acted as if my Father was on vacation. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I realized that by trying to be strong for everyone else and
“get over it” I was actually harming myself and those closest to me. I became full of anger and guilt.. Angry and Guilty because I had not taken the time to go see my Daddy before he was taken from me. You see, my way of "dealing" with things was to act as if they did not exist and in all honesty.. I thought my Daddy would be coming home to us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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Each one of us are created in our own unique way with our
own characteristics, strengths, weakness’s etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We all handle things differently than others and differently in each situation
we face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I face certain things, I immediately
go in to survival mode and lie aside all of my personal feelings of a situation
in order to make it through that situation and be strong for those around me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I have learned is in order to GET
through it.. I must GO through it… Meaning we must allow ourselves to feel the
pain of the loss, to allow ourselves to cry, to be weak, to be angry, to ask
why.. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and Yes.. I have found myself mad
at God at times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">One particular evening I was having a very tough time with life.. I was driving down the highway just crying.. I remember pulling into the cemetery and parking beside my Daddy's grave and just sitting in my car crying. This was the first time I had been there since the funeral months back. I just sat in my car talking to God and asking Him to help me forgive myself for not mourning my Daddy, for not being there in the days that led up to his death and to help me release the guilt and anger I was holding onto. I told my Daddy I was sorry, that I loved him and that I had finally accepted the fact that he was actually gone and not on vacation.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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They say there are five common stages of grief: denial,
anger, bargaining, depression then finally.. acceptance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last one is the hardest for most of us to
come to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have accepted the fact that
my Daddy is not on this earth anymore (does not mean I like it nor am I happy
about it) but I also know that I will see my Daddy again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In order to properly grieve and heal from the
loss, I must allow myself to feel the pain of the loss and allow God to help me
through the process of healing and to heal me from the inside out.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Undealt with grief can cause bitterness, depression, anger,
guilt and other things to settle in our hearts, take root and grow out of
control consuming our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It not only
affects us but all of those around us. We often find ourselves asking how a loving,
merciful God would allow our loved ones to be taken from us and leave our
hearts broken beyond repair, I can assure you He doesn’t allow it because He is
mad at us, trying to get even with us or trying to teach us a lesson.. He
allows it because that is a part of our life here on earth.. a time to live and
a time to die. I like to think He grieves with us.. He grieves for us.. <o:p></o:p></div>
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John 11:35 Jesus wept<o:p></o:p></div>
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John 14:2-4 “In My Father’s house are many mansions: if it
were not so, I would have told you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I go
to prepare a place for you, and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will
come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also
and you know the way to where I am going”<o:p></o:p></div>
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These verses bring comfort to me.. knowing that My Heavenly
Father has compassion for each one of us as we grieve the painful loss of a
loved one, knowing that He loved them first, He created them in His own image,
and He has prepared a place for all of those who believe in Him and that if I
hold true to my belief in Him just as my Daddy did.. I will be with my Daddy
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Personal Evaluation:<o:p></o:p></div>
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1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What loss have you
experienced that you are struggling to come to terms with?<o:p></o:p></div>
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2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you allowed
yourself to grieve and if not, why?<o:p></o:p></div>
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3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How has this grief
affected your life and relationships?<o:p></o:p></div>
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4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What steps can you
take to work through this grief?<o:p></o:p></div>
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5.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Find 3 Scriptures
that reference grieving in the Bible and apply them to your own life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0Aubrey, TX 76227, USA33.2647059 -96.98534740000002333.0522949 -97.308070900000018 33.477116900000006 -96.662623900000028tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-7240595328030969552018-09-09T16:31:00.000-07:002018-09-14T16:29:57.334-07:00Week 1 - What Baggage Are You Carrying?<br />
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“And Blessed is the
one who is not offended by Me” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Matthew
11:6<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I go on trips, even a short weekend get away with my
husband Greg, I pack like I am never returning home and we are headed to a
deserted island with no stores.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pack
at least 6 bags.. For a 2-day trip! One bag for my actual clothing which contains
at least 3 different outfits to choose from for EACH day, one bag is strictly
for my shoes because lets be honest here.. the shoes make the outfit! One bag
for my make up because Lord knows no one wants to see this face without makeup,
one bag for my bathroom necessities and toiletries, one bag for my accessories like
belts, jewelry etc. and one bag for my laptop because all my “vacations” are
working vacations. I envy you ladies who only need to carry one bag!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Greg can literally pack one bag containing
his clothing, shoes, toiletries etc in 15 minutes when it takes me a good 2
days. His reasoning is “I don’t like hauling all these heavy
bags around everywhere we go!” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The other “bags” or Offenses I carry on my trips, around the
house, to bed and pretty much anywhere I go aren’t physically seen but they
still carry a lot of weight. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I load myself
up with bags full of hurts, resentments, rejections, fears, unforgiveness, anxiety..
you name it and I probably have it shoved in a bag and am currently carrying it
over my shoulder or on my back like a pack mule and will duke it out with
anyone who tries to take it from me! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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As a female we tend to feel like we are to carry everyone
else’s problems and be the “fixer” of all.. but what about OUR problems? Who
fixes those? If you’re like me, no one does, you continue to carry those Offenses
with you allowing them to be stumbling blocks and you keep filling your fake Louis up as you go until you have to
grab a suitcase and start filling it up because Lord knows we don’t have time
to work on ourselves and let those issues go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We would rather beat ourselves up and break our backs carrying all our
baggage than unloading and going through them a few at a time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its like when I go grocery shopping and I
come home with a car load full of groceries, I will literally weigh myself down
with every single bag, toilet paper under one arm, paper towels under the other
and wobble into the house dropping to the floor from all the weight than make
two trips to my car. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kind of silly huh? <o:p></o:p></div>
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I am pretty good about picking up extra bags everywhere I go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like I have a “baggage radar” always on
alert for a new bag to pick up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now don’t
get me wrong, I am a purse-a-holic and I love a good designer bag, especially
when its on sale! I can find new bags at work, the grocery store, my favorite restaurant,
social media and even at Church.. Yep.. I went there. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t act like you’re all holy roller and you don’t
get hurt or offended at Church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Church
people can be mean! Can I get an Amen? Guess what.. They are human, just like you and I.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Can I be real with you for a minute? Hopefully you just said
yes because you’re still reading this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am no expert, I don’t have a college degree, I am not a licensed physician nor
have I ever wrote a book before, I am literally just a normal everyday woman who
has lived a life full of hurts, crippling anxiety, grief, unforgiveness and bouts
of depression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have packed and picked
up lots of baggage along the way, some I have unloaded only to reload and some I
never unpacked but I can tell you one thing for sure, God is still working on
me and each day the load gets a little lighter. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I decided to take a journey.. a journey to figure out why
I feel the need to pick up all of this excess baggage. My hope is that you will
follow along on this journey and maybe find that you are carrying some of the
same baggage and that together, we can find a way to unpack our bags for good.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am beginning to think Greg was on to something when he
said “I don’t like hauling all these heavy bags around everywhere we go!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe, just maybe.. I can learn something
from him.. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Personal Evaluation:</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">1. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">What baggage or offenses have you picked up and
not put back down?</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">2. How long have you carried this baggage?</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">3. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">What is keeping you from putting it down for
good?</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">4. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">How has this extra baggage affected your life?</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">5. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Think about what it would feel like to finally
be free from this baggage, how would you feel?</span></div>
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<br />Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-69072260902995498952018-09-08T08:44:00.001-07:002018-09-08T08:44:59.338-07:00Honey, Drop That Baggage.. And No I’m Not Talking About Your Louis Vuitton!I'm Starting A Journey... A Journey involving Baggage (And Not Your Louis Vuitton Luggage You Carry On The Plane With Ya), I'm Talking About The Baggage We (YOU And ME) Pick Up Along This Path Called Life. Ya Know, Offenses.. Hurts, Resentments, Anxiety, Depression Etc.. Honey, Lets Learn How To Drop That Baggage.. And No I’m Not Talking About Your Louis Vuitton.. And Learn How To Live Our Best Life Yet! I Challenge You To Come Along This Journey With Me Over The Next Few Weeks, Heck It May Even Take Months But We Can Do It Together! Feel Free To Share Your Own "Baggage" And What You're Struggling With Because I Can Assure You, I Will Be Sharing All My "Designer" Bags With You! Let’s Drop Our Baggage Off At Baggage Claim!Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-14526633210970640002015-07-19T11:53:00.003-07:002015-07-19T11:53:39.623-07:00Decisions<br />
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Have you ever had something that just totally consumed your thoughts? Something that took over your mind to the point that is all you thought about? I have.. And it's almost impossible to change my thoughts to something else. It could be a hurt from a loved one, a decision you know you need to make but not sure if it's the right decision, it could be a burning desire for something.. That is just out of your reach.. Either way, it leaves you in shambles until you overcome it. </div>
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As a business woman I make decisions daily that affect not only my life but the lives of others. I take these decisions very seriously and when I feel I've made the wrong decision that ultimately let someone down.. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I've made decisions that have cost me friendships, relationships and consequences that I did not like but the decisions were mine and mine alone. </div>
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I've met many people over the years, as have you.. Some have made me better, some have hurt me, some have left imprints on my heart that could never be erased no matter how hard I try. Some consume my thoughts and some I don't think of anymore.. Either way, all the relationships in my life involve a decision of some sort.. Whether good or bad, the decision is mine and sometimes the hardest decision to make, is actually the right decision. </div>
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I'm learning I must be careful to not base my decisions on feelings alone but look to God to direct me in every aspect of my life.. Even decisions that involve my heart. Just because my flesh and my heart feel it's a good decision.. Doesn't mean it is. </div>
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Though I am weak, He is strong</div>
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I can do all things through Christ Jesus Who gives me strength. Philippians <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">4:13</a></div>
Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-90709619108142508902014-04-15T20:16:00.000-07:002014-04-15T20:16:24.492-07:00Meet The del Rosario's... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKBYrAQwaNFsEpN5CWhSbh_ANl91zBlR3xywtPG8zDEv8sTZ16oa3UHsOsbkkKbBo2_fnEVGWbIZr41OeAJnVywCmSApBt_xkZb6qmgSmlq0aobUPW6qxv3gQ2zBJJqQPuOhlb0rKE9e_p/s1600/IMG_2793cllogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKBYrAQwaNFsEpN5CWhSbh_ANl91zBlR3xywtPG8zDEv8sTZ16oa3UHsOsbkkKbBo2_fnEVGWbIZr41OeAJnVywCmSApBt_xkZb6qmgSmlq0aobUPW6qxv3gQ2zBJJqQPuOhlb0rKE9e_p/s1600/IMG_2793cllogo.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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I met Glen, Tonya and their girls for the first time on a hot summer day in the middle of July, 2012. Tonya had messaged me on facebook to schedule a photoshoot and had told me that she wanted to have it done as soon as possible due to the fact that her husband, Glen, had just been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer:</div>
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From Tonya: "Well, we got a bit of a shock about a week ago, learning my husband has cancer. We're still waiting on some pathology reports to determine the exact kind of cancer and what stage we're at, but it's all very scary right now. I don't know if it's possible to squeeze us in sometime quickly in the near future, but I'm now thinking I'd really love some family photos before my husband has to undergo treatment."</div>
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A week Later:</div>
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"Well, we got word today that they confirmed it is angiosarcoma. We called MD Anderson immediately, and they are not able to get us in until August. That's clearly not going to work, so we're trying to come up with a plan B. We've made several calls, but will hopefully have something scheduled by the end of next week. Glen's mobility is impaired, and he's having to use a walker to get around, so we'll have to work around that a bit, but that shouldn't be hard." </div>
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This last message got me... I guess because Tonya was such a sweet spirited, positive person, I knew they had 3 little girls and my dad was going through cancer treatment at the time. It made me think about how short life really is and how you never know what tomorrow holds... One day Glen was a very healthy husband and father.. laughing and playing with his girls.. The next.. Cancer stole so much from him and his family...</div>
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The day of our shoot arrived and to be honest I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make it through. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know how to act.. Should I be my normal jolly self, or should I be solemn and quiet? I then decided that I would be my normal jolly self.. This was supposed to be a happy time and I would do everything in my power to make it as happy and comfortable as possible... </div>
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We started out doing the normal family shots...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHeSkyxIgNmx4eni9tkvd1QIa9jdPic1GVKoHafI8kmHDaI3rXl9DRUR7nhoA8uprt5xg6QmuRPJ3Wl7sWPo0FqkeJVNhtILq9tGsZADG62oQukmGfGshAkBwxdNUCY7tFRMbw9GQ18lo8/s1600/IMG_2878logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHeSkyxIgNmx4eni9tkvd1QIa9jdPic1GVKoHafI8kmHDaI3rXl9DRUR7nhoA8uprt5xg6QmuRPJ3Wl7sWPo0FqkeJVNhtILq9tGsZADG62oQukmGfGshAkBwxdNUCY7tFRMbw9GQ18lo8/s1600/IMG_2878logo.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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I then did some of Glen and his girls...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3eq6xuZGpgZKqwjQFrCFcqmqoVMv4oJrTWZqMbZgqYUok8wJ_U9CSzIlAi5A55OYwFfjfuCtYnByi8KUb1ym7KTQDzkloEhVxU0b3i8j6438YpHaOD5ume6lfkAlg_CqgErLbeXgP1D_5/s1600/IMG_2837cllogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3eq6xuZGpgZKqwjQFrCFcqmqoVMv4oJrTWZqMbZgqYUok8wJ_U9CSzIlAi5A55OYwFfjfuCtYnByi8KUb1ym7KTQDzkloEhVxU0b3i8j6438YpHaOD5ume6lfkAlg_CqgErLbeXgP1D_5/s1600/IMG_2837cllogo.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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Then I wanted to do some of Glen and Tonya.. I wanted them to always remember how they were, how much they loved each other.. I wanted them to always remember this very moment...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLiz2kufnNWFp7kyerb_u7R4f8_T_TP5nlxkRYKkWQ84Q2v70kulI4jMIriMGcbeBECXwfNjXthcXzP0_jiDqgC3f_UKGC27JR_mN1G7mCHAabTYisycyp6iM9iXvRWIJyrvo0cJDmjI_u/s1600/IMG_2861clogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLiz2kufnNWFp7kyerb_u7R4f8_T_TP5nlxkRYKkWQ84Q2v70kulI4jMIriMGcbeBECXwfNjXthcXzP0_jiDqgC3f_UKGC27JR_mN1G7mCHAabTYisycyp6iM9iXvRWIJyrvo0cJDmjI_u/s1600/IMG_2861clogo.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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When I do shoots, I always ask the client to bring something that's very important to them to incorporate into the shoot. I forgot to tell Glen and Tonya to do that... But Glen was ahead of the game. This little plaque meant so much to this family and when I read the words... I saw why..<br />
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Believe In Miracles.... </div>
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I finished the shoot and worked as hard as I could to get these images done and back to them as fast as possible. I mailed the disc and didn't expect to hear from them, then I received this message:<br />
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"Hi Laura, I just had to reach out and tell you how grateful I am that you took those photos of Glen when you did. I got the one of him and the girls blown up and it's hanging in our hallway. He looks so healthy there, and quite honestly, I'm not sure he'll ever look like that again. So, I am sooooo glad we have that - it captures our life before cancer. I treasure it so much and smile each time I pass by it, so just thought you should know the impact of your work <span aria-hidden="true" class="emoticon_text">:)</span><span class="emoticon emoticon_smile" title=":)"></span> Thank you."</div>
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My heart broke for this sweet family.. I believe in miracles but I also believe that life throws us some curve balls that we will never understand... This was one of those. </div>
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I followed all the updates and all their posts on facebook and every single one of them were positive.. No matter what life threw at them... They were always positive.. I never saw them post anything negative! How strong this precious family is.. I saw posts about Tonya tying Glen's hospital robe and making him look like "an evil step sister" according to Glen, I read about their family times, their travels back and forth to MD Anderson and I read this from Tonya: "<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I wouldn't trade my life for anything, but sometimes I wish we could go back to our uneventful pre-cancer life in the suburbs. Boring can be pretty darn special."</span></div>
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span> </div>
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<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">I have since been blessed to do another shoot with them and I still follow all of their journey's... I still believe in miracles and I still believe that this is the most inspirational family I have been honored to photograph.. They will forever hold a special place in my heart. </span></div>
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"Last year was so kind of you and that meant the world to us. You still hold such a special place in my heart because you captured that moment in time for us so beautifully before it was visibly apparent that Glen was sick. You forever froze our life before cancer and those photos hang front and center above our fireplace as a reminder. Tonya"</div>
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We will never understand why things such as cancer steal so much from those we love, we may never understand why the kindest, most loving people have to suffer more than those that are full of evil... There are several things that I don't understand and never will... But I know who holds my future and I know that The One who has all these answers, holds my hand through all the trials I face in life... </div>
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I pray God gives this precious family, whom I call my friends, peace and comfort through this very scary journey.. I pray for and believe in... a miracle...</div>
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Sophia, Tonya, Ava, Glen & Chloe </div>
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October 2013</div>
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<br />Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-75956198813232103532014-04-14T07:27:00.001-07:002014-04-14T07:27:16.145-07:00The Diffrence Baptism Service<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last night, Sunday April 13th 2014, I had the privilege to watch my husband Greg baptize 12 of our Youth from The Diffrence. It was an incredible service and it seemed like the whole community came out to support these kids! We literally had people standing outside the building waiting to get in! God is so incredibly good!! <br />
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Austin</div>
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Blakelyn</div>
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Brianna</div>
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Gracie</div>
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Jaya</div>
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Such an amazing experience... We are truly blessed beyond measure...</div>
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Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-68027079415098174602014-03-27T09:07:00.004-07:002014-03-27T09:18:33.698-07:00A Storm's A Comin'<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I do a lot of things that Greg and the girls might call "stupid"... Such as yesterday.. Brianna was sick so I had to take her to the Dr. We walked in the building and I had this crazy idea to take one of my business cards, wrap a dollar bill around it and leave it in the bathroom. Never thought twice about it.. Let me back up a little bit now.. On the way to the Dr. yesterday the song Oceans by Hillsong came on... I look over and Bri has tears running down her face.. I say "What's wrong Bri".. even though I already knew, I knew God was speaking to her because He had been speaking to me for a while.. She goes "Mom, God is trying to tell us something" Me "Really? What do you think He is trying to say Bri?" "Mom, there's a storm coming, a BIG storm Mom, He is preparing us now for the storm that's coming. He wants us to know He will see us through the storm." Wow.. God had already told me that but I had been ignoring it to say the least because I didn't want to think about it.. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday I had several missed calls from the same number, that I did not recognize. Last night they left me a voicemail asking me to please call her today. I replied with a text that I was in church at the moment but would call first thing in the morning. She responded with "Praise The Lord"... I thought hmm.. kinda strange response but oh well...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fast forward to this morning... I had to run some checks to a title company in Dallas, and on the way back I remembered to call this lady back. I called her and she said "Laura... I have NO idea why I am calling you other than God told me to.... My husband went to the Dr yesterday and I wasn't supposed to go with him but I ended up going anyways. I had to go to the bathroom and they wouldn't let me use the one in the office and told me to use the one in the hall... I saw your card with a dollar bill wrapped around it and started crying... God told me right then and there that I HAD to call you!" By this time she really has my curiosity peaked! I'm like OK... Maybe she has been looking for a house or maybe she needs to sell one... Nope... God had other plans...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She went on to tell me that she needed to pray with me.. She started praying and in that VERY moment, The Spirit of The Lord came upon her and she saw the EXACT battle that we are facing right now... The "storm" Brianna referred to... was revealed to this TOTAL stranger... over the phone.. me driving 70 MPH down the Tollway... She started speaking Scripture over me and telling me that God is in control, HE has a plan, NO weapon formed against me shall prosper AND greater is HE that is in ME than he that is in this world....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see, what she did not and could not know... because Greg and I have not shared it with anyone except family until now.. is that Greg's daughter who lives in Amarillo, whom is 5 1/2 months pregnant with a baby boy will be moving in with us in April... April 17th to be exact. The reason she is moving here is because the Dr's there have determined that the baby has some major health issues going on. As of now his little intestines are growing on the outside of his body.. They are keeping a watch on her for fear that other organs may be doing the same. Once he is born he will immediately go into surgery to try and correct this. We are praying that it is only his intestines and nothing more... for if it is, things could quickly take a turn for the worse. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This total stranger had no way of knowing any of this... but God used her to call and minister to me and to tell me that this baby was going to be ok... She knew that we were facing a situation with a baby and that is could possible be bad... God told her to tell us that He will see us through the storm, HE has a plan for us and for this precious baby whom we know as Hunter Reed... God is an amazing God who works in some downright crazy ways.. He never ceases to amaze me.. and when I do crazy stupid stuff, He turns them into good...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you say your prayers tonight, please include little Hunter and his momma..</span> <br />
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<span id="goog_597880445"></span><span id="goog_597880446"><br /></span>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-83118887553152576452014-03-24T07:45:00.001-07:002014-03-24T07:45:23.467-07:00The Last's <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was thinking the other day, yes... I think a LOT... As a mom, we often think about, write down and talk about our babies "first's". First tooth, first time to roll over, first words, first steps and the inevitable first day of kindergarten... But what about all the "last's"? We often overlook and forget these, the most important ones of all... You see, the "last's" mean our "babies" are growing up, not needing us that much anymore.. The "last's" are gone and often forgotten...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me start with Taylor....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taylor came into this world late and has been late ever since! She hasn't always had the sweet calm spirit she has now... She was my first and I wanted to make sure I did everything by the book and didn't fail at anything.. I read all the books, watched all the shows and picked the brains of everyone I could.. Only to figure out, I had to go with MY gut instinct and do what worked best for ME. I was not a perfect mommy but I sure tried my best to be. I wanted to give her the best life I could and as most parents do, I sacrificed everything I could to make sure she had the best I could offer. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When Taylor was a toddler, she would never let me out of her sight and if I was, she would scream and cry until I came back. I would drop her off at the babysitters house and cry all the way to work because she would cling and beg me to stay with her. Although this was heart breaking for me, it also gave me comfort knowing she loved me so incredibly much. One day I took her in, sat her down and she crawled off never giving me a second glance. I was heartbroken... Just the day before she had cried and clung to me begging me not to leave and now she didn't give me a second glance... That was a "last" for Taylor... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taylor was a very cranky baby AND toddler.. I mean she was quite the bear to be real honest! Greg and I used to have a nightly routine with her.. When it became time for her to go to bed, we had to load her up and take her around the block (sometimes the whole town) just to get her to go to sleep! I'm telling ya, I was VERY reluctant to have another baby after her! All kidding aside, one night Greg decided we weren't going to do that anymore and she was going to go to sleep like a normal child! Well... you can only imagine how that went over! After what seemed like months of her crying herself to sleep, she finally went to bed and calmly fell asleep on her own... She didn't need me sneaking in and holding her until she calmed, she didn't need me singing "You are my sunshine" to her anymore, she didn't need ME.. to fall asleep anymore... She was growing up... and I didn't like it. That was a "last" for Taylor...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When it was just Taylor and I, I would not let her get one single grain of dirt on her. If she got even the least little bit dirty, I would freak out and start sanitizing every ounce of her tiny little body. I was terrified of germs and her getting some dirt born disease. All that changed when we met Greg........ Greg made it his ultimate goal to make sure Taylor got as dirty as she could, just to watch me freak! He would allow her to fall in the mud and laugh at her and I when we both cried.. He kept pushing the boundaries and she eventually caved, realizing he was more fun than I... Next thing I know, she is out playing in mud puddles in her brand new shoes.. laughing and giggling at the top of her lungs.. Not a care in the world... Meanwhile I am silently dying inside thinking of all the disease's she could be coming in contact with! I wasn't the center of her world anymore.... I was no longer the only one in her world... She now had someone she admired, trusted, loved and looked up to... The times of her relying solely on me were over... This was another "last" for Taylor... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taylor was 3 when her baby sister Brianna was born.. Brianna entered the world on October 4th, 2001 and up until that day, Taylor had been my only child. October 3rd was a "last" for Taylor.. The last day that she was my only baby girl... the last day that she had me all to herself... and the last day that it was just her and I... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now let me tell ya about Brianna...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brianna, Oh boy... Where to begin? Brianna has always been a little firecracker! She has ALWAYS pushed the boundaries and knows no limits. When I was 5 months pregnant with her, she decided she wanted to go ahead and make her entrance into the world.... Needless to say, not everyone agreed with her so I was put in the hospital for 2 weeks while we tried convincing her the world wasn't quite ready for her! She stayed in a few more months then made her grand appearance 3 weeks before my due date... She still thinks everything should be done on HER time!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brianna has ALWAYS had a very vivid imagination. One day she introduced us to a little girl named Cheerleader... Funny name I know... You see, Cheerleader wasn't your typical "little girl"... To be honest, none of us ever actually SAW Cheerleader, only Brianna. Cheerleader was Brianna's Imaginary Friend... But you couldn't tell Brianna that... She would argue until she was blue in the face that Cheerleader was real! We would go out to eat and would have to request an extra chair when Cheerleader was with us... Luckily she always drank water and shared a meal with Bri... Bri would talk to her and interact with her at restaurants like she was REALLY there.. In Brianna's mind, she REALLY was! Bri would get mad if we "ignored" Cheerleader when she was speaking to us, or if we "accidentally" sat on her... Things got a little complicated at times because we always had to ask Bri "Where's Cheerleader?" to make sure she didn't accidentally get left at home, locked out of the house, sat on in restaurants etc. Although it was quite embarrassing at times, it also reminded me of just how innocent and precious my baby actually was. I remember the day when I asked Brianna where Cheerleader was because I realized we hadn't been taking her with us in a very long while and Bri hadn't been talking to her like she used to. Brianna calmly told me "Mom, Cheerleader left. She went to someone else's house to be friends with them and I told her it was OK." Although I was relieved because we had finally moved past this stage in her life, I was also a little sad... This meant Brianna was growing up, her imagination was slowly fading away... This was a "last" for Brianna...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brianna had an obsession with baby dolls... When I say obsession, I don't use it lightly.. We had numerous baby dolls in our house, different ages, boys & girls... Brianna called them her "kids" and Greg and I were informed that since they were her kids.. They were also our grandkids... This was not a position that we chose.. and she held us to our "responsibilities" of grand parents! I was asked to babysit while she went to her friends house, I had to feed them and change their diapers when Bri was conveniently "unavailable"... These "kids" supported and helped each other when needed... One day I walked into the girls bathroom and almost fell over in laughter! Apparently one of the babies had gotten sick and needed to vomit... SOOOOO... 2 other "babies" pushed a stool over to the toilet, those same 2 laid down on their bellies on the stool and the sick baby climbed on top of the other 2 and hung her head over the toilet.... I am so thankful they came up with this plan because Lord knows... I do not clean up vomit!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brianna took her role as Mommy and our role as grandparents very seriously. She was in the pool one day and all her "children" were in the house. I was sitting by the pool minding my own business when suddenly she broke out in tears and panic! I thought she had been stung by a bee or something! Once I finally got her calmed down, she tearfully informed me that CPS had been called on her and they were removing all of her children from our home... You can only imagine my reaction to this news.. I am thanking God she hadn't been stung by a bee (since she is highly allergic) but also silently laughing inside at this sudden twist to our mommy and grandparent plot. She informed me that she had been turned in because someone had claimed she was not a good mommy.. My defenses flew up! How DARE anyone say my daughter was not a good mommy!! She begged me to help her and to figure out a way to prove she was indeed a good mommy. We called our best friend and Pastor at the time who also was a cop... He talked to Brianna (He was such a good sport in all our times of need), convinced her that he would talk to CPS and get all of this resolved and she would get to keep her babies. We were all relieved! A few days later I noticed she wasn't playing with her baby dolls like she once did.. she actually started getting rid of a few.. I was heart broken! I mean, we just went through this whole CPS battle over these kids and now she didn't WANT them?? Then it dawned on me.... She was growing up... She was realizing that she was too old to play with baby dolls and she created this whole CPS story to give her a way "out".. to convince herself (and us) that she didn't need them anymore, someone else could have them and love them like she did... This was a "last" for Brianna... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I write all this with tears in my eyes.. Thinking back to all my babies "last's"... I know there will be many more "last's" in our lives.. and I hate the thought of forgetting them.. We always remember our "first's" but how often do we remember our "last's"? I want to be able to treasure every single moment in the lives of my family and not forget one single thing... But too often, I do forget... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to remember all the times we went hunting for rolly pollies... all the times we laid outside under the stars talking about life.... all the times we tried to catch lightening bugs... the way my babies smelled when they came in from playing outside... the dirt smudges on their faces... the gentle way they wrapped their tiny arms around my neck and said "I wub you mommy".... their tender words of comfort when I was hurting... or the way a single kiss from me could take away every hurt in the world... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are the things I don't want to forget... These are a few of my favorite things...</span> Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-67927777039521513832014-02-17T15:40:00.000-08:002014-02-17T19:19:05.185-08:00I Don't Want The World's Christianity..<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Get ready, this is gonna be a long one...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you ever notice how satan likes to "kick you when you're down"? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">People say some pretty mean and hurtful things in the name of "their" God.. They use "their" bible to give you a list of things you should NOT be doing... but never give you the things the Bible says you SHOULD be doing.. We tend to focus more on the NOTS than the SHOULDS... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">It really saddens me when I talk to people and for whatever reason, they have decided to leave church.. Sometimes it is because someone has taken a verse from the bible out of context and stretched it to fit their selfish motives or needs. I am brutally honest on here, as past posts will prove.. and I don't shy away from what I believe.... When I am confronted with "Scripture" taken out of context, I ALWAYS go and research the original scripture and the true meaning behind it. I never allow someone's twisted version, to become my truth.. and you shouldn't either. If someone comes to you using a scripture to attack you, your faith, your beliefs, your family, your church.. you better go to God and ask Him to reveal Himself to you, to reveal the true meaning of the very scripture being used against you. Scripture is meant for teaching, correcting, loving and rebuking... Not for spreading hate and negativity, causing chaos, or trying to get others to do what we feel they should do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">2 Timothy 3:16 <span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousn</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ess</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Read the following scriptures, think about what they mean to you... What is the Author saying here?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">1 Timothy 2: 8-12 NIV Bible Gateway</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text 1Tim-2-8" id="en-NIV-29725"><sup class="versenum">8 </sup>Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29725S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup> without anger or disputing.</span> <span class="text 1Tim-2-9" id="en-NIV-29726"><sup class="versenum">9 </sup>I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29726T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text 1Tim-2-10" id="en-NIV-29727"><sup class="versenum">10 </sup>but with good deeds,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29727U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></sup> appropriate for women who profess to worship God.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text 1Tim-2-11" id="en-NIV-29728"><sup class="versenum">11 </sup>A woman<sup> </sup> should learn in quietness and full submission.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29728V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text 1Tim-2-12" id="en-NIV-29729"><sup class="versenum">12 </sup>I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-29729W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)"></sup></span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Pretty strong words huh? Some might say the writer was a bigot.. that he favored men over women... What do you think? If you just read these words alone and not the whole book of 1 Timothy or the books before, you might walk away with the following translations:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">Women should not wear jewelry or expensive clothes</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">A woman should not question what she is being taught, she should just believe it</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">A woman is below a man</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">A woman is not allowed to talk about God to other's or to teach others about God</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;">God doesn't like women</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Now.... those are some pretty depressing statements and translations...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Thankfully, those statements are not what this scripture means at all... but too often we take a few verses and twist it just enough to fit what we want it to mean. In the meantime, we dilute the scripture so much that it is no longer of God. The only way to know if we are being fed false information is to be grounded in The Word and what we believe should be consistent with The Word (The Bible). If we are not grounded in The Word and what we believe then we will be susceptible to false teachers. In addition to knowing what we believe and why, we should avoid anyone who twists the words of the Bible for his or her own purpose. So, lets pick it apart and get down to the true meaning behind these verse's... As God has revealed it to me.. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">These scriptures were written by Paul to Timothy concerning the Church Of Ephesus. Paul was trying to encourage and instruct Timothy, a young Pastor who was probably intimidated by older and more mature church members (we've all been there). Paul chose Timothy to help him spread the gospel but he also knew that Timothy was very young, shy and hesitant so Paul warned him against being intimidated by his opponents and their teachings. At this time the church was facing a bunch of division, false teaching and the false teachers were preying on women... because the women were new believers who were enjoying the freedom to study the bible and be involved in worship and they were easily swayed. Although Paul is addressing Timothy, the letter is for the church in general. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Verse 9-10 Along with the issue this church had with false teachers, they also had the issue of women being disruptive in worship and dressing too seductively. Paul was explaining that even though they were excited about their new freedom in Christ and the ability to study and worship with men, women should not rush into leadership or flaunt their newfound freedom. Possibly some women in the Ephesian church were trying to gain respect by looking beautiful rather than by becoming Christlike in character. Paul wanted them to focus more on being gentle, modest and loving.. taking on the character of Christ.. To focus on what she does for others, not what she puts on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Verse 11 To understand and "get" the full meaning of this verse and the next one, we must first understand the situation in which Paul and Timothy worked. In first century Jewish culture, women were not allowed to study. Plato granted women equality with men, then Aristotle severely limited their activities and his view was more widely accepted. When Paul said that women could "learn", he was affirming their recognition as teachable members of the church, Christian women were given equal rights when it came to studying the scriptures. Most of these women had grown up in an atmosphere that wasn't too keen on women being equal, especially in the Temple.. So some of these women went a little crazy with their newfound freedom in Christ. Some women overreacted, flaunting their freedom to the church and disrupting worship and service. A lot of these women were very immature in their faith in Christ and therefore they needed to learn, not teach. They were very easily swayed by false teachers and Paul warned that these women should not be put up front to pray in public or teach until their beliefs had been straightened out. THESE women were to learn at home from their fathers or husbands and they were to be silent in service, they were only to speak or pray if it was from The Spirit. Paul's prohibition was NOT to women in general, it was to a specific group of women that was causing division in the church at that time. There are several places where Paul talks about women in the church who were his "co workers" helping him and they were full members of the body of Christ and fully shared in the responsibilities and gifts of serving. (Romans 16:1-3, Philippians 4:2-3). Women were to learn quietly and submissively.. meaning settled, calm with voluntary restraint.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Verse 12 This verse goes along with verse 11, the women of the Ephesian Church were not allowed to teach, they were allowed to learn... How could they teach if they had no idea what they even believed? Paul was withholding the right for women to teach because of the condition of the church at that time. Like I said, many women had no clue what they believed and why so they were being led astray by false teachers. Paul was trying to tell them, they did not need more teachers, what they all needed was to return to the foundations of the true gospel. Many, Many, MANY people interpret this verse to say that women should never hold a teaching position in the church.. that is scripture being twisted and not taken for what it really means. In other verse's Paul allowed women to teach, in fact his "co worker" Priscilla taught Apollos, the great preacher (Acts 18:24-26). Paul mentioned other women who held positions of responsibility in the church.. Need examples? Phoebe (Romans 16:1), Mary, Tryphena and Tryphosa (Romans 16:6, 12) Euodia and Syntyche (Philippians 4:2).. Just to name a few.. Paul was more than likely telling the women of Ephesia that they could not teach because they did not have the knowledge or experience. He wanted leaders to be mature in their faith and at this time women were not because they had JUST been given the freedom to study and learn. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I am not a Bible Scholar and I don't hold some big degree from a bible college but I do have a relationship with The One True God.. The One who inspired every single word in the bible, The One who loves me in spite of all my mistakes, The One who reveals Himself to me daily... I am a Child of a King and this King took every single one of my sins to the cross with Him.. Not because He had to but because He chose to. For me to think I cannot be used by Him to spread His message, gospel and love is absolutely insane. For others to think that just because they have sinned, fell off the wagon, are a female versus a male that God cannot and will not use them... is.. well.. just as insane. God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. I believe without a shadow of doubt that God called me for a purpose and that purpose is to teach others about Him and His saving grace, to lead others to Him without judgments or condemnation, to build His Kingdom in His name, to love others as He loves us, to show others the true Christ.. not the watered down diluted version the world has made for Him.. regardless if I am male or female..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text 1Tim-2-15"></span></span><br />Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-74756409806899118002014-02-11T18:40:00.002-08:002014-02-11T18:40:16.641-08:00Are We There Yet?If you are a parent, then I can almost promise you that you have heard the "get on your nerves, drive you crazy" question "Are we there yet?" You have probably heard it a million times on the SAME trip! When Greg and I travel with the girls (like driving over 30 minutes away from our house) the girls usually start in at about 10 minutes on the road.. "Are WE therrrrrreeee YET?" "Mom I'm thirsty!" "MOM Taylor won't move!" "Mom Brianna is being a brat!".. You get the idea right? No matter what journey we are on or where we are going, we always have complaints. We can pack snacks, drinks, games etc. but we ALWAYS hear complaints!<br />
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I was thinking about this today and how on our journey as Christians, we are the same way... We ALWAYS complain! We complain to God about our circumstances, we complain to God about things that have happened in our lives, we even complain about Him not answering a prayer the way WE think He should have. In essence we are like kids in the backseat whining and crying while our Father is trying to take us as carefully as possible to our final destination. Don't you think God would like to just tell us to "SHUT UP!"? <br />
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Thankfully, He doesn't... Thankfully He just sits quietly and listens to our moans and groans ever so patiently... Patiently waiting on our rant to end so He can gently speak words of wisdom and peace to our hearts. If we would just stop complaining for a few minutes, we would actually hear our Father tell us to "hang on, you're almost there, just a few more minutes"... Remember, our thoughts are not God's thoughts and our ways are not God's ways... God's timing is totally different from our timing.. So bathroom breaks may be months or even years away... but they are coming.. <br />
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<strong>Isaiah 40:31</strong><br />But they who wait upon the Lord will get new strength. They will rise up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired. They will walk and not become weak.<br />
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<span class="keywordresultextras"><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+40:30-31&version=NIV"></a></span>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-50835865582268710072014-01-05T18:23:00.000-08:002014-01-05T18:23:39.488-08:00What if...What if... What if we all loved as Jesus did? What if we saw everyone as Jesus sees them? Laying down our self righteous judgements, pre conceived notions and religious "rules"... And merely saw people through the eyes of Christ? I mean, really.. Who are WE to judge anyone? Who are WE to point out someone else's "sin"... When we have "sins" of our own? Just because in "our" eyes their "sin" is bigger and worse than ours.. Who are we to judge? When did we become so self righteous that we can look past our own sins, mistakes, short comings and failures... But can't look beyond those of our neighbor.. When were we given the title of Judge and Jury? Why do we put sins in categories and give everyone a label according to their sin... When we have probably done worse but we choose to ignore our own to make others look worse than us.. In return making us feel better about our own "sin"..<br />
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The Jesus I know and love dwelt among the "sinners".. He loved them (he loves me, a sinner) and never talked down to them making them feel unworthy.. Even though we all are.. Unworthy. He was the ultimate example of Love.<br />
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There is a phrase that I've heard numerous times in church and I have even used it myself.. Hate the sin but love the sinner... Here recently this phrase has been bothering me. When we use this, we are making ourselves sound so self righteous.. Like we are without sins of our own... To be honest.. We are like filthy rags compared to Christ. Sin is sin... We all sin have sinned and will sin.. The good news is we have a Father who loves us unconditionally, regardless of our sins, mistakes, short comings and failures. When we say that phrase we are actually stating (in my opinion) that WE are without sin and that those that sin differently than us are scum. When we get to a place that we are without sin of our own.... THEN we can use that phrase and not sound self righteous.. Good luck getting there because as long as we are living on this earth... We are gonna be sinners.<br />
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8 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.<br />
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4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”<br />
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6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.<br />
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9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”<br />
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11 “No, Lord,” she said.<br />
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And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”<br />
John 8:1-20Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-85315038318221091452013-12-25T10:52:00.000-08:002013-12-25T10:52:01.102-08:00A Letter To My Daughters...Dear Babies,<br />
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When the time comes for you to choose a man to marry, I pray you find a man like your Father.<br />
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You see, your daddy is a great man, a man whom I admire greatly.. A man of great integrity, wisdom, courage and strength.<br />
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I watch this man, my husband, whom you call daddy, tirelessly work day in and day out to provide us with the best life possible, all the while never asking for anything in return. <br />
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He never complains about our many shopping trips (the ones he knows about anyways), our exciting mostly crazy adventures (which usually end up with him bailing us out of some sort of a mess) or our lovely monthly sometimes daily mood swings (which is when he leaves to go to the deer lease). <br />
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I sit back and silently watch this man, your daddy, put his heart and soul into everything he does and pour himself into those around him... Family or not, he shows no favoritism. His heart is pure and his actions show proof. Just watch him with our dog Fergie... Before leaving the house or going to bed he must make sure that the TV is on and on something that she would enjoy... He usually ends up choosing Animal Planet because.. Well.. "She loves to watch other animals!" <br />
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He is a God fearing, God loving man and he lives his life accordingly. He is a true example of what Christ designed a husband and father to be.<br />
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"Love never gives up." <br />
He never gives up.. Quitting or throwing in the towel is not in his vocabulary.. It's just not an option.<br />
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"Love cares more for others than for self."<br />
He proves this daily... He would go without to make sure we were provided for.<br />
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"Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have."<br />
He would rather work to get it<br />
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"Love doesn’t strut,<br />
Doesn’t have a swelled head,<br />
Doesn’t force itself on others,<br />
Isn’t always “me first,”<br />
He is the total opposite.. He puts everyone before himself.. Family or not. He never brags, never boasts but instead lifts others up.<br />
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"Doesn’t fly off the handle,<br />
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,<br />
Doesn’t revel when others grovel"<br />
He is the most patient, kind hearted man I know. He easily forgets wrongs and hurts done to him (something I wish I could do) and never gives them another thought.. He literally "turns the other cheek". I admire that about him.<br />
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"Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,<br />
Puts up with anything,<br />
Trusts God always,<br />
Always looks for the best,<br />
Never looks back,<br />
But keeps going to the end."<br />
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Girls, these last few words describe my husband, your father the best. He is truthful and full of integrity. He continues to make God the head of our household and the head of our lives. He always looks for the positive in everything and everyone... He does not see the bad in others (this trait sometimes drives me insane) and always forgives, forgets and moves forward. He never gives up.<br />
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In closing, I pray that you girls will find a man half as amazing as your father. I pray you find a man who loves God and others more than he loves himself and a man who can put up with someone like me.... Because we all know, you girls are a clone of me!<br />
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I pray that you adore this man as much as I adore your father and that your love for each other radiates through you both for others to see. I pray that when you or he messes up (because I promise you, you will) that you forgive each other quickly and move on, never looking back. Keep your heart, soul, spirit & mind focused solely on God and make Him the center of your life.<br />
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I love you girls and I pray you let God direct you to the perfect man when the time comes. Merry Christmas 2013 babies...<br />
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Love Your Momma<br />
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Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-61781829593838322502013-12-18T07:15:00.003-08:002019-04-09T11:09:46.533-07:00Grace<span lang="EN">Jeremiah 29:11 NIV “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares The Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”<br />
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Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord<br />
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The story I am about to share with you is not for those who are not mentally and emotionally able to handle the raw details of abuse. My story is not a happy one and a lot of the things I will be talking about are not pleasant and you will be hearing very graphic details of childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence. With that being said…<br />
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You never know what goes on behind closed doors.. <br />
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My girls and I have this "obsession".. well its actually out of curiosity and just being nosy.. but its still an "obsession".. We drive by homes and look for the ones with their blinds or curtains open. When we find one, we love to look through the windows (as fast as we can because my husband Greg usually speeds up when he realizes what we are doing) and wonder what kind of people live there. If there is a cross hanging on the wall or the door we automatically assume they go to church and if we see huge crystal light fixtures hanging from the ceiling we assume they are wealthy. Looks can be very deceiving though.. Just because the outside of the house looks really bad.. doesn't mean the inside does too or that the people living there are bad people and vice versa. Just because the people living in the homes, by all "appearances" seem perfectly normal and happy.. doesn't mean they are. <br />
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The reality is sexual and physical abuse takes place every where.. Even in respectable, loving, Christian homes. It occurs where you least expect it and it affects us all<br />
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I was born to a mentally challenged mother whom physically abused me and allowed different men to physically and sexually abuse me as well. Back in 1984 it was one of the worst cases the Fort Worth Police Department had ever seen... As the CPS Investigator told my current mom... It was the worst in Tarrant County at the time. It was so bad it made the news.. <br />
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My Bio logical Father and step father both sexually molested me over and over.. One of the earliest memories of my bio logical father was him laying me naked on the bed and taking pictures of me. He would then touch me while touching himself. My step father would rape me violently. He would rape my mother and make me watch then he would rape me and make her watch.. All the while video taping it all. I remember him sitting me in a chair in the corner of the room and saying “Laura watch what I’m going to do to your mommy” Then he would get on top of her, hold her down and rape her. My mother would scream at me to not look and he would tell me if I don’t then I would get it worse. He shoved a broom stick inside me and made me bleed.. he made me watch pornography with him and my mother. He would urinate and ejaculate in my mouth and beat me if I threw up. When my mother would leave to go to the store he would lock the doors and have his way with me.. I would scream so loud the neighbors would come and bang on the door.. We would run and hide then. He said he was making love to me and if I told he would kill me and my mother. <br />
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I remember a lady named Sheryl "befriended" my mother and my "step dad". She became my friend and I felt very comfortable talking to her about things that were happening to me. One day she came to our house and my mom told Sheryl that she needed to take me because she was fixing to kill me. Sheryl didn't know what to do but she knew she had to get me out of that house one way or another, so she "kidnapped" me and took me to her house. I don't remember how long I was at her house but I remember being woke up one night by screams and banging on all the doors and windows. Everyone was frantic and scared.. Next thing I knew the house was surrounded by cops, TV news crews and helicopters.. I was rushed out wrapped in a blanket handed to a woman who got in the back of a police car with me. <br />
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I awoke the next morning in a strange place, scared and alone... I was in a Foster home... My old life left behind... Mommy and all...<br />
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Strange as it may sound, considering all that I had endured... I loved my "Mommy" and I didn't want to leave her.. She was all I knew..<br />
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Actual Statements given to the FW Police Dept:<br />
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April 23rd, 1983: On April 3rd P called our home and asked me to come pick her up and take her for job interviews the next day, Monday. I told her I would but then called her back and told her I couldn't. When Monday came, I changed my mind because I had prayed and felt that I had to go there. As the mother started putting in job applications Laura started talking and snuggling up to me as if she was afraid. I started asking questions then and she said her mother had told her that morning that she was going to kill her. She told me she was afraid and asked Jesus to come and get her today. I told her to not be afraid that I would help her. When I took the mother home I asked her if she was OK and she broke down crying and said she felt guilty about all the things she had done. She had been so upset with Laura and was beating her daily. She said they had to stay home from church for 2 weeks because Laura‘s face and back was marked so bad from being beat with a belt. She said her husband was also mean to Laura and he would punch and bite her.<br />
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I sat down with Laura and asked her why she was afraid of adults and she said her new daddy would, after her mommy went to the store, take off all her clothes and have "private" with her. She said she would scream and the neighbors would come and knock on the door and her daddy and her would hide then. He would slap her mouth and tell her to shut up. She also said her daddy would tell her she better watch when him and her mommy had private. Laura would tell her mommy and her daddy would laugh and tell Laura he would do it to her again for telling. <br />
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Now the original statement from Laura:<br />
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April 23rd, 1983: My mommy's name is P and my daddy's name is W, My mommy said she was going to choke me, hit me and kill me.<br />
My daddy hit me real hard<br />
I have dreams of my old daddy. He locked me in the bathroom and outside. He told me he was going to let the dogs eat me because he hated me. He spanked me with a belt real hard<br />
My daddy touches me between my legs. My old daddy and my new daddy did that<br />
My daddy sneaked in and got me one day while I was watching cartoons. He touched me and made me touch him. He touched my mommy there too and made me watch. I always told my mommy and she said "W if you don't stop that I'll call the courts"<br />
When mommy came home from the store she said “Laura get those clothes on before I spank you!" <br />
He takes all his clothes off and gets on top of my mommy. You call that making love. He doesn't do that to anyone but my mommy and me.<br />
My old daddy lives in far away. I don't see him anymore and I'm glad. He's mean to me and doesn't love me. He told me.<br />
No one loves me. They told me.<br />
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You see... By all accounts we were a good "All American" family.. We went to Church every Sunday and had lots of friends from Church.. But no one ever knew what was going on behind closed doors.<br />
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I was adopted at the age of 5 by my birth mothers cousin and her husband and they loved me as their own..<br />
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I lived with them until the age of 17 when I decided I knew it all.. I knew EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING and could not be told different..<br />
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I met a guy and fell madly "in love" and since I knew everything I decided to run away and go live with him. We moved into a drug infested neighborhood which in turn led me to become addicted to drugs... Methamphetamines to be exact.. <br />
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The beatings started the second night of us living together.. <br />
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He would beat me so bad I thought he would kill me. He would punch, slap, kick, bite me etc etc... All because he loved me... I thought this was what love really was... I mean after all... My biological mom and dad loved me and they did all those things.. This is what love is so I might as well get used to it..<br />
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I was knocked out, hung off a bridge, beat with anything he could find, had knives to my throat and stomach, my throat slammed in a car door.... All because he "loved" me... <br />
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He loved to beat me with electrical cords and metal coat hangers.. <br />
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He would drive me out to the country... Beat me until I was almost unconscious then rape me repeatedly.. On the way back into town he would tell me how much he loved me and that he only did these things because he was so scared of loosing me. <br />
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At the end he was beating me almost 24 /7. He installed a dead bolt on our door that could only be locked and unlocked with a key, and he had that key. He screwed all of our windows shut and put black trash bags over them so no one could see in. During one beating he forgot to lock the dead bolt and I escaped.. I got across the gravel parking lot and up the stairs to my neighbors apartment when I felt my hair being ripped out of my head. He drug me back down the stairs, back across the parking lot and inside to finish what he started. <br />
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I left him numerous times, called the cops and had him arrested, put restraining orders on him and even moved back home… but I still took him back each and every time he said he was sorry. I believed him.. <br />
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Why did I stay you ask... "Your stupid for putting up with it" you might say "You deserved what you got for not leaving" you might think.... But you see leaving takes careful planning.. Or you might just get killed.. It takes so much strength and courage to leave and I didn't have either of those.. He had sucked all my strength, courage, self esteem and self worth right out of me... He LOVED me... I mean he told me so, He told me each time how sorry he was... I thought I could change him... I could make him love me... I was dead wrong and almost died trying...<br />
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I did finally get the courage to leave... And get help… after 7 long years... <br />
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The definition of Help is simple... to make it easier for (someone) to do something by offering aid. <br />
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Help can come in many forms.. But YOU choose to either be the "helper" or the one receiving the help... Never consider yourself "helpless". <br />
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I at one time thought I was "helpless". I was lost in a world of abuse and addiction with no easy way out. I was as low as one could go and still sinking lower. <br />
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I sought and found help because I knew I would die if I didn't. In that instance I made a choice.. A choice to not be helpless anymore... A choice to change my destiny... change my legacy.. <br />
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You can choose to stay right where you are for the rest of your life or you can choose to dig down as deep as you can go, and when you think your at the bottom and you still can't find it... dig deeper.. and find a thread of courage.. a thread of strength.... and get help..<br />
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If I found a way to survive all that I've endured and make an amazing life for myself... others can too.. We can’t use our past as a stumbling block and a crutch.. You must use it as a stepping stone, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving... Seek Help…<br />
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It is only by the grace of God that I am here today... nothing more and nothing less... The night I was able to break free, things happened that could only have been because of God. It was supernatural.. <br />
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The night I left he had just finished beating me so badly I could barely move.. He pushed me onto the floor and started kicking and punching me anywhere he could.. I was so out of it all I could do was moan and pray for death to come quickly.. We only had one set of keys to our apartment and he left to go get more drugs, locking me in and taking the keys with him.. I was crying and begging God to please help me, to please save me from this life I was living.. I knew if I didn’t find a way to get out right then and there I was going to be killed very soon.. But I also knew I had no way out.. He had the keys.. I remember laying in a fetal position sobbing on the cold floor when I got the strength to get up.. Something told me to start looking.. Looking for a key.. I remember the pure terror I was feeling as I was looking and having no luck… All along knowing we only had one key.. I tore the apartment up looking when all of a sudden a voice ordered me to “Look in front of you” I raised my eyes and looked straight ahead of me and sitting in plain sight on my kitchen counter was a key! Not just any key but the key to the door that was holding me in my prison.. I grabbed that key and ran to the door frantically unlocking it and running as fast as I could to the pay phone down the road. I had no idea who I was going to call until I looked above the phone and there was a phone number for the national domestic violence hotline.. Tell me God wasn’t with me that night.. In my darkest hour.. He was there. <br />
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God was always there, even when I was a small child I knew there was a God, a loving merciful God and I knew He was with me. I prayed He would come and take me. As I grew older and ran from Him He was still there, patiently waiting on me to return. He gave me a burning desire to seek Him in my darkest hours, read His word and pray. <br />
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When I allowed myself to be broken… That’s when God was allowed to work in my life.. <br />
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I am now married to a wonderful man and have been for going on 13 years. We Pastor a small church in Pilot Point called The Diffrence (spelled wrong on purpose)… We are striving to be difference makers and to make a difference in the lives of everyone we come in contact with. WE are ALL called for a purpose.. <br />
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I've come to realize that God does have an amazing plan for my life. Although I must admit that I couldn't always see nor understand that plan. His plans are to prosper us, to give us hope and a future. Not to harm us. We must walk by faith and not by sight. We have to step out of the boat into the raging sea, to see that God will meet us right where we are. <br />
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There have been many times in the years following all of my "challenges" in life that I've felt completely uncertain of what God had in store for my life and I tried really hard to make things happen in my own timing. I have tried to take things into my own hands only to have them crumble apart right before me. Isaiah 55: 8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." In other words... Move out of the way and let God work.. That is one of the hardest things for me to do. I am a "fixer".. I try and "fix" everything . God can't work if I'm running around trying to do His job! <br />
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I have made over a million mistakes in my life and I by no means claim to be perfect but I still know that God has an awesome plan for me and wants me to be all that He has called me to be.... In His timing.. I am a forgiven Child of God who He has called for a purpose. We can choose to sit around and wallow in self pity or spiritual arrogance or we can choose to put our flesh aside and live up to His calling. There is not one person who is more righteous than the other.. We all have sinned and fallen short.. None of us deserve the grace that God has extended to us…. But He still extended it. <br />
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</span>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-1064523310194512432013-10-23T07:44:00.001-07:002013-10-23T07:44:44.291-07:00Whitney's Story.. Whitney Delcourt and I met a little over a year ago and quickly became friends. We had a lot in common so it made it easy! As our friendship grew, we realized we had more in common than we first thought.... We both had a history touched by Domestic Violence.. You see, Whitney had a sister... A beautiful 105 pound, 27 year old Real Estate Agent named Kendall Dodson. Kendall was Whitney's best friend and at times, her worst enemy.. they were sisters. <br />
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Notice how I am using past tense when I describe Kendall? The sad reality is... Kendall was murdered on October 30th, 1991 by her boyfriend. He shot her in the head.... Called 911... Admitted to shooting her, saying it was an "accident".... and got only days in jail... He literally got away with murder.... <br />
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Kendall's father described her in these words at her funeral: "My wonderfull Kendall, a friendly puppy, instantly friends with anyone she met, whether executive or bus boy, beautiful, warm, witty, funny, smart with a mouth to match, pseudo-cynic, flippant, sometimes exasperating, benevolent con artist, cruise control set on 100. She loved all others and desperately wanted to be loved in return but often constitutionally incapably of admitting it; insecure, always trusting and vulnerable, secretly frightened by a world in which ill will and meaness so often prevail. We often silently communicated in a room full of people. Our faults and our strengths were identical. When we looked at one another, we saw a mirror. She is me. I am her. One..."<br />
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The family saw a few signs of the abuse but as most vicitms are, Kendall was very good at explaining away the bumps, bruises, cuts, scrapes etc.. She thought her abuser was her friend...<br />
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After the funeral, the family took a bouqet of yellow roses from her grave to Women's Haven with the following note:<br />
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In loving memory of our wonderful Kendall, 27 years old, who was murdered on </div>
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October 30th, 1991. She thought her abuser was her friend. Her family brought</div>
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these flowers from her grave to you. Some of them are wilted, as are you.</div>
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Some are dead, as is she. Please remember Kendall when you consider</div>
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returning to the man whose violence sent you to seek safety at Women's Haven.</div>
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If you are in an abusive relationship or you know someone who is, think about Kendall... Let her senseless murder help to save someone else's life, maybe even yours... Think about your family, your children, sitting at your funeral looking at the rose covered box that holds their precious loved one... Who will never come back to them.. Think about the feelings and the emotions they are feeling... Let it really sink in... because once it does.. Once you see it from their point of view.. Maybe it will give you the strength you need to make the most scariest decision you will ever make... Remember, it takes so much more strength to LEAVE an abusive relationship than it does to STAY... </div>
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YOU are an OVERCOMER... YOU can be a SURVIVOR... YOU WILL get through this...</div>
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Philippians 4:13 "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"</div>
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Notice it doesn't say "I can a FEW things".. No it says "I CAN DO ALL THINGS"... </div>
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Kendall (on the left) and Whitney... "I still remember when we took this picture. We were at Dave & Busters in the photo booth trying to get a cute picture...and we just could not keep from laughing. Never laughed so much....She taught me to not take myself so serious and to laugh." Whitney</div>
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In Loving Memory of Kendall Brett Dodson</div>
Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-48034039948028661982013-02-14T12:04:00.001-08:002013-02-14T12:04:18.756-08:00Curve Balls...Do you ever watch baseball? To be honest, I don't.. It bores me and my attention span is not long enough to sit for that long! BUT.. I do know about curve balls... In baseball, a curve ball is a ball that is pitched with the flick of the wrist causing the ball to drop suddenly and veer in the opposite direction. This leads the batter to "believe" the ball is coming his way and at the last second.. It veers the other direction leaving the batter wondering what the heck just happened! Wow... I think I've had a few of those thrown my way a few times.. but when I really stop and think about it, are they really curve balls or is it because I have stepped out of God's perfect will for my life? <br />
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It never fails, I pray, seek God's will and ask Him to guide and direct my paths... but then the "human" in me wakes up, gets impatient and decides to "step in and take over the situation". That's when the curve balls come. Sometimes they are small and manageable but other times they are large and daunting leaving me trembling with fear. No matter the size, once they come my way I become fearful.<br />
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In that moment God never fails to gently remind me "I got this".. He just wants me (us) to totally, completely cast all our cares and fears upon Him and let Him take care of it. Today was one of those days actually this last week has been one where I have been very uncertain of the events taking place in my life and I want to take control and "fix" the situations going on.. BUT I must decrease so He may increase. I must seek Him, talk to Him, focus on Him and believe that He has a plan and He knows the path I am walking.. because He walked it before me. He sees all the nasty mud holes, pot holes, bumps in the road and the many road blocks.... but He went before me so He knows the way around them and through them. If I allow Him to, He will guide me the way I should go. <br />
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Today I got a gentle reminder while reading my devotion from Jesus Calling. Usually I read it at 6:30 am but for some reason today I didn't, I read it about 12:30 pm and wished I had read it earlier.. <br />
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"Do not give in to fear or worry, those robbers of abundant living. </div>
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Trust Me enough to face problems as they come, rather than trying to </div>
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anticipate them.. Fix your eyes on Me, the Author and Perfecter of your faith,</div>
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and many difficulties on the road ahead will vanish before you reach them.</div>
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Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand.</div>
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Nothing can separate you from My Presence!"</div>
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God is a "People Person".. meaning He longs to have a real, personal relationship with us, not just a Sunday morning relationship. He longs to be involved in every aspect of our lives.. if we would just let Him. Having a relationship with Him is not about religious exercises, religious traditions or just going to Sunday morning church.. It's about talking to Him like you would your best friend, letting Him invade every part of your life and just spending time with Him, worhipping Him..</div>
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Worship is about saying "Thank you" to God, because He gave it all for us.... God's not into "appearances".... He's into the "heart"... He knows our hearts way better than we do.. </div>
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Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-64533018628278391272012-08-13T14:09:00.001-07:002012-08-13T14:57:17.932-07:00God's Purpose for Us<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I've come
to realize recently that God does
have an amazing plan for my life. Although I must admit that I couldn't always
see nor understand that plan. His plans are to prosper us, to give us hope and a future. Not to harm us. We must walk by faith and not by sight. We have to step out of the boat into the raging sea, to see that God will meet us right where we are. </div>
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There have been
many times in the years following all of my "challenges" in life that I've felt completely
uncertain of what God had in store for my life and I tried really hard to make
things happen in my own timing. I have tried to take things into my own hands only to have them crumble apart right before me. Isaiah 55: 8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." In other words... Move out of the way and let God work.. That is one of the hardest things for me to do. I am a "fixer".. I try and "fix" everything . God can't work if I'm running around trying to do His job!</div>
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I have made over a million mistakes in my life and I by no means claim to be perfect but I still know that God has an awesome plan for me and wants me to be all that He has called me to be.... In His timing.. I am a forgiven Child of God who He has called for a purpose and so are each of you. We can choose to sit around and wallow in self pity or spiritual arrogance or we can choose to put our flesh aside and live up to His calling. There is not one person who is more righteous than the other.. We all have sinned and fallen short.. None of us deserve the grace that God has extended to us. We must realize we are being called for a purpose and that is to lift each other up, give our lives over to Him and let Him have control of our thoughts, decisions and lives... Not to judge and belittle anyone who doesn't measure up to our measuring stick. You can sit in church all your life and still not go to Heaven.. Sitting in church does NOT make you a Christian.. Having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and striving everyday to be more and more like Him is what makes you a Christian. </div>
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The scary thing is... Just because you die doesn't mean you will go to Heaven. We hear it said at funerals time and time again "Well we know they are up in Heaven now"... Do we? I mean do we REALLY know this? Did we ever take the time to sit and talk with that person about their spiritual life? Did we ever be bold enough to ask them if they knew Jesus Christ as their Lord and let God move? Sad thing is... no...we probably never even questioned it. I'm guilty of it too.. </div>
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John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.</div>
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Romans 10:9-10 If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. </div>
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In other words... If you believe this with your whole being and pray this prayer to God.. Telling Him you acknowledge who He is and what He has done for you, you acknowledge you don't deserve any of it but you still ask Him to come and reign in your heart, in your life and to forgive you of your sins.... You will be saved.. That simple.. </div>
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He never promised the road would be easy, He never promised everything will be smooth sailing.. It will actually be like a bed of roses once you decide to pick up your cross and follow Him..You will have easy beautiful times followed by the rough thorns.. The enemy will start attacking.. Probably within the first 10 minutes after you said this prayer... But know now that you have an advocate.. You have a BFF you can go to at any given moment with anything.. He will never leave nor forsake you.. You are now His.. He bought you by laying His life down for you. Don't steal from God by trying to carry the load and burdens alone. </div>
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I hear people say that "Church isn't what it used to be" "People just don't go to church anymore.. times have changed" "This church doesn't meet my standards" the list goes on.. Since when did Church become about the people? Church should be about God... When we realize it is not about us, then God has room to move. </div>
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It seems right now that everyone is under attack... You may be being attacked for your beliefs, your religion, the way you raise your children or live your life. The reality is we all only have one person to answer to and that is God... not man. Each one of us needs to take a step back and realize we are not the Judge of anyone. We have no room to be talking or judging anyone's lifestyle.. Quite frankly it is none of our business. We should be spreading the real message of Jesus and loving each other as Jesus loves us. If we call ourselves a Christian then we really need to examine what that means and make sure that our life is a living example of the true meaning.. Not some made up definition that fits our life at the moment.</div>
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Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-49676396809899199542012-07-10T15:12:00.001-07:002012-07-16T17:40:56.859-07:00Behind Closed Doors..<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You never know what goes on behind closed doors..</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My girls and I have this "obession".. well its actually out of curiosity and just being nosy.. but its still an "obsession".. We drive by homes and look for the ones with their blinds or curtains open. When we find one, we love to look through the windows (as fast as we can because Greg usually speeds up when he realizes what we are doing) and wonder what kind of people live there. If there is a cross hanging on the wall or the door we automatically assume they go to church and if we see huge crystal light fixtures hanging from the ceiling we assume they are wealthy. Looks can be very deceiving though.. Just because the outside of the house looks really bad.. doesn't mean the inside does too or that the people living there are bad people and vice versa. Just because the people living in the homes, by all "appearances" seem perfectly normal and happy.. doesn't mean they are. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The reality is sexual and physical abuse takes place every where.. Even in respectable, loving, Christian homes. It occurs where you least expect it and it affects us all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here is a statement given to authorities and taken from actual court papers about a little girl who was being beaten and sexually assaulted daily... All before the age of 5.. I have removed names.. If you are easily offended or not emotionally able to handle raw details of abuse.. STOP READING NOW!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">April 23rd, 1983: On April 3rd P called our home and asked me to come pick her up and take her for job interviews the next day, Monday. I told her I would but then called her back and told her I couldn't. When Monday came, I changed my mind because I had prayed and felt that I had to go there. As the mother started putting in job applications "her little girl" started talking and snuggling up to me as if she was afraid. I started asking questions then and she said her mother had told her that morning that she was going to kill her. She told me she was afraid and asked Jesus to come and get her today. I told her to not be afraid that I would help her. When I took the mother home I asked her if she was OK and she broke down crying and said she felt guilty about all the things she had done. She had been so upset with "her child" and was beating her daily. She said they had to stay home from church for 2 weeks because "her child's" face and back was marked so bad from being beat with a belt. She said her husband was also mean to "the child" and he would punch and bite "the child". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sat down with "the child" and asked her why she was afraid of adults and she said her new daddy would, after her mommy went to the store, take off all her clothes and have "private" with her. (I will spare you all the very graphic details due to the age of readers this blog reaches). She said she would scream and the neighbors would come and knock on the door and her daddy and her would hide then. He would slap her mouth and tell her to shut up. She also said her daddy would tell her she better watch when him and her mommy had private. "The child" would tell her mommy and her daddy would laugh and tell "the child" he would do it to her again for telling. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now the original statement from "The child":</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">April 23rd, 1983: My mommy's name is P and my daddy's name is W, My mommy said she was going to choke me, hit me and kill me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My daddy hit me real hard</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have dreams of my old daddy. He locked me in the bathroom and outside. He told me he was going to let the dogs eat me because he hated me. He spanked me with a belt real hard</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My daddy touches me between my legs. My old daddy and my new daddy did that</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My dadddy sneaked in and got me one day while I was watching cartoons. He touched me and made me touch him. He touched my mommy there too and made me watch. (I again am removing very graphic details of sexual abuse)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I always told my mommy and she said "W if you don't stop that I'll call the courts"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When mommy came home from the store she said ""child" get those clothes on before I spank you!" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He takes all his clothes off and gets on top of my mommy. You call that making love. He doesn't do that to anyone but my mommy and me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My old daddy lives in "City". I don't see him anymore and I'm glad. He's mean to me and doesn't love me. He told me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No one loves me. They told me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see... the "child" referred to was me... All of this happened before I was 5 years old.. By all accounts we were a good "All American" family.. We went to Church every Sunday and had lots of friends from Church.. But no one ever knew what was going on behind closed doors...</span>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-13835439952576522652012-01-10T19:32:00.000-08:002012-07-16T17:41:33.726-07:00I Wonder..<div class="content noh" id="YvaTZkncP2WRZHfGaPflZw">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes I wonder if what I say and do makes a difference.. I talk to ladies at different stages in their relationships, offer advice, support and if needed help.. But I sometimes don't know what the end result is... This lady is different...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back in 2009 I received an email from a lady I will call "B".. You will see in our conversations that the abuse started out mild and then escalated.. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From B, in her own words:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't know if anyone can help me. My sister was in an abusive relationship that progressively got worse as time went on and turned into extreme physical abuse. She is afraid that my husband is heading down the same path. He's become increasingly disrespectful, he calls me names daily like there's nothing wrong with... it. And just a few days ago while I was feeding out 8 month old son he punches the chair I was sitting in right next to my head. I need help and I'm not sure where to go. I love him and want him to go back to being the man I married.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From me, word for word:</span></div>
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<abbr class="timestamp" data-utime="1257536318" title="Friday, November 6, 2009 at 1:38pm"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">November 6, 2009</span></abbr></div>
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<strong><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/hovercard.php?id=1367911052" href="http://www.facebook.com/lauragbradley"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Photos-By Laura</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Laura Bradley</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The cycle of Violence does get worse as time goes on, it will not get better without intervention. The being disrespectful, calling of names, belittling etc are all forms of abuse. The cycle usually starts with verbal and emotional (as you mentioned) then eventually leads to physical violence, which you also mentioned by him punching the chair. You have many options, but they all take CAREFULL thought and planning. I don't know where you are located but in Denton County there is a place called Denton County Friends of the Family and they offer help to victims of domestic Violence and counseling. I offer a support group for victims and you may call me ANYTIME at 940-390-3911. I can speak with or meet with you to help you decide what steps you want to take, or just to be support. The choice is yours, and the decison has to be yours, just remember you do have a child in the picture now and that child depends on you to keep him or her safe. Also, you may call 911 if you are in immediate danger. Please take my number and call me if you need anything, even if it just someone to listen and offer support. I know you love him, but you must also love yourself. You do not deserve to be abused in any way, and he needs to seek help to help him overcome his abusive ways. Please keep in touch and take my advice to heart. I will be praying for you. Laura</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From B:</span></div>
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<abbr class="timestamp" data-utime="1257773754" title="Monday, November 9, 2009 at 7:35am"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">November 9, 2009</span></abbr></div>
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<abbr class="timestamp" data-utime="1257773754" title="Monday, November 9, 2009 at 7:35am"></abbr><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I live in West Virginia. I feel so helpless... He yelled at me because i picked up one of our sons toys and put in on the table because it was in the walk way. My son was bouncing happily in his bouncy chair and "J" blew up. He said things like "Use your f*#@ing mind, I just cleaned that table!" and "I don't know why I married your stupid ass!" and he swore to God that he hated me. His yelling startled my son and made him cry so I tried to comfort him by taking him out of the chair and hugging him. "J" was in the laundry room and I sat down on the couch with my son, now better in his mommy's arms. "J" came back out to yell at me some more to use my "f@#*ing" brain. When he started yelling at me it startled my son again and made him jump and cringe on to me as he began to cry. The look on his face broke my heart and I can't get it out of my head. He looked at me like "Mommy I'm scared." I just want to break down in tears. I should be able to keep him from these things and I can't. I've spoken to "J's" mother and sister and they are going to try and talk him into getting help. If he refuses to get help then I've decided I'm not going to stay, I can't allow my son to go through this anymore or myself even. I've noticed my son is losing that playful side when "J" holds him and he looks at me for reassurance that its going to be okay. Eventually he relaxes and all seems normal, but it's not that instantaneous playful reaction that he used to have. My heart is really breaking thinking about what I might have to do to protect my son.</span></div>
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<abbr class="timestamp" data-utime="1257862426" title="Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 8:13am"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From me:</span></abbr></div>
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<abbr class="timestamp" data-utime="1257862426" title="Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 8:13am"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">November 10, 2009</span></abbr></div>
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<abbr class="timestamp" data-utime="1257862426" title="Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 8:13am"></abbr><strong><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/hovercard.php?id=1367911052" href="http://www.facebook.com/lauragbradley"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Photos-By Laura</span></a></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I pray that you have the strength to leave if he does not change. The more your child sees, the more withdrawn he will become out of fear. Please remember that none of this is your fault, even though you may be told that. You do what you can to take care of yourself and that baby and stay safe. Remember, he will NOT change without invervention and help. Please be safe and remember leaving takes careful planning!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That was the last time I had spoken with "B" in way over 2 years... I had often thought of her wondering if she was OK and if the abuse had indeed gotten worse.. I wondered if she was able to break free or if she became another statistic..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wondered all of that up until January 6, 2012 when I received this...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From "B":</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Its been so long since I've gotten back to you... I wanted u to know u were right there were several more instances that got worse each time including the physical aspect of abuse.. I left him for good in the early hours on January 1st 2010 when he tried to kill me in front of our son. I feel very fortunate to still be here today. We are now divorced and live a good distance away from each other.. thank u for ur words of support...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That right there validates everything I do.....</span></div>
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</div>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-55371792975267189122012-01-02T11:38:00.000-08:002012-07-16T17:41:51.536-07:00The Help...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The definition of Help is simple... to make it easier for (someone) to do something by offering aid. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Synonyms: assist, aid, releive, support...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Help can come in many forms.. But YOU choose to either be the "helper" or the one receiveing the help... Never consider yourself "helpless". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I at one time thought I was "helpless". I was lost in a world of abuse and addiction with no easy way out. I was as low as one could go and still sinking lower. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sought and found help because I knew I would die if I didn't. In that instance I made a choice.. A choice to not be helpless anymore... A choice to change my destiny... change my legacy.. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can choose to stay right where you are for the rest of your life or you can choose to dig down as deep as you can go, and when you think your at the bottom and you still can't find it... dig deeper.. and find a thread of courage.. a thread of strength.... and get help..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am an advocate for Victims and Survivors of Domestic Violence.. I am a form of "Help"... I work with, mentor and offer support for those in need.. I am not a Counselor, a legal guru or in any way affliated with law enforcement.. I am in simple terms.. The Help...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I offer a support group for Victims and Survivors of Domestic Violence and Abuse. If you are in immediate danger and need help please contact 911 or your local law enforcement agency. If you need someone to talk to or would like to get involved in a support group please contact me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was once where you are and I know the struggles going on in your mind right now.. "It only happens a few times.... not all the time" "He said He was sorry, he was just under so much stress" "Well, I shouldn't have said that, I know he hates it when I say those things"...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next time might just be the last...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Laura 940-390-3911</span>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-37442096228565776872011-12-19T19:39:00.000-08:002012-07-16T17:42:13.710-07:00My Story...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB4XcUsj4RJI6lCsEx5PnIwJcM08Cbxbun_M2AjLwxGbtJVF8fGO0133u8xleLI5kbPxbHqfd-RCguId_uuOkKp26eMbjssZd1ZJFKWTFN2kvtKjZZpdy48TGXQ16PtPUvchtLBnOF7An0/s1600/20110720_67e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB4XcUsj4RJI6lCsEx5PnIwJcM08Cbxbun_M2AjLwxGbtJVF8fGO0133u8xleLI5kbPxbHqfd-RCguId_uuOkKp26eMbjssZd1ZJFKWTFN2kvtKjZZpdy48TGXQ16PtPUvchtLBnOF7An0/s320/20110720_67e.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was born to a mentally challenged mother whom physically abused me and allowed different men to physically and sexually abuse me as well. I won't go into details on this blog as this reaches different age levels of readers. Lets just say that back in 1984 it was one of the worst cases the Fort Worth Police Department had ever seen... As the CPS Investigator told my current mom... It was the worst in Tarrant County at the time. It was so bad it made the news.. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember a lady named Sheryl "befriended" my biological mother and her husband (my "step dad"). She became my friend and I felt very comfortable talking to her about things that were happening to me. One day she came to our house and my mom told Sheryl that she needed to take me because she was fixing to kill me. Sheryl didn't know what to do but she knew she had to get me out of that house one way or another, so she "kidnapped" me and took me to her house. I don't remember how long I was at her house but I remember being woke up one night by screams and banging on all the doors and windows. Everyone was frantic and scared.. Next thing I knew the house was surronded by cops, TV news crews and helicopters.. I was rushed out wrapped in a blanket handed to a woman who got in the back of a police car with me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I awoke the next morning in a strange place, scared and alone... I was in a Foster home... My old life left behind... Mommy and all...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Strange as it may sound, considering all that I had endured... I loved my "Mommy" and I didn't want to leave her.. She was all I knew..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was adopted at the age of 5 by my birth mothers cousin and her husband and they loved me as their own..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I lived with them until the age of 17 when I decided I knew it all.. I knew EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING and could not be told different..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I met a guy and fell madly "in love" and since I knew everything I decided to run away and go live with him. We moved into a drug infested neighborhood which in turn led me to become addicted to drugs... Methamphetimines to be exact.. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The beatings started the second night of us living together.. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He would beat me so bad I thought he would kill me. He would punch, slap, kick, bite me etc etc... All because he loved me... I thought this was what love really was... I mean after all... My biological mom and dad loved me and they did all those things.. This is what love is so I might as well get used to it..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was knocked out, hung off a bridge, beat with anything he could find, drug by my hair down a flight of stairs and accross a gravel parking lot.... All because he "loved" me... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He would drive me out to the country... Beat me until I was almost unconscious then rape me repeatedly.. On the way back into town he would tell me how much he loved me and that he only did these things because he was so scared of loosing me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why did I stay you ask... "Your stupid for putting up with it" you might say "You deserved what you got for not leaving" you might think.... But you see leaving takes careful planning.. Or you might just get killed.. It takes so much strength and courage to leave and I didn't have either of those.. He had sucked all my strength, courage, self esteem and self worth right out of me... He LOVED me... I mean he told me so, He told me each time how sorry he was... I thought I could change him... I could make him love me... I was dead wrong and almost died trying...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I did finally get the courage to leave... after 7 long years... I am remarried now to an amazing man and have 2 amazing daughters of my own and amazing "kids" by marriage..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why did I just spill my guts on a public site for the world to see... Because someone, somewhere needs to see this and know that there is hope.. If I found a way to survive all that I've endured and make an amazing life for myself... You can too.. Don't use your past as a stumbling block and a crutch.. Use it as a stepping stone, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are in an abusive situation right now... get help... get out if you can... talk to someone you trust.. I offer a support group for victims and survivors of domestic violence.. contact me if you want to.. Just please do not become a statistic.. change your destiny... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you know someone in an abusive situation... DO NOT judge them, talk down to them or threaten to distance yourself from them... This will only push them further away from the help they need. Be there for them, listen to them... JUST LISTEN... You have NO idea what they are going through so don't pretend you do unless you have been there yourself.. Dont play God... Don't get mad when they repeatedly run back and forth to the abuser... Just give them the support they need.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is only by the grace of God that I am here today... nothing more and nothing less... The night I was able to break free, things happened that could only have been because of God. It was almost supernatural.. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If there is someone reading this that needs courage.. I pray you find it before its too late... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God bless... Laura </span><a href="mailto:glchomeinventory@gmail.com"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">glchomeinventory@gmail.com</span></a>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2128656201147177046.post-54247872618472158562011-09-07T07:03:00.001-07:002011-09-07T07:03:32.752-07:00Giggle Juice....<span lang="EN">The most exciting part of surgery for both my girls is the part when they get their “giggle juice”…. Not the taste of it… but the effects of it. The taste is actually quite nasty, very bitter or so I’ve been told but the effects of it make memories that forever stay with us. <br />
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Lets take Tay for instance.. When she takes hers she sees multiple fingers instead of one, she sees zebras EVERYWHERE in the room (I almost started seeing them too!), she let all of us know just how big our noses really are and that they were not where they should be on our faces. Everything she saw… she saw multiple.. She laughed non stop! <br />
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Bri on the other hand gets a little scared when she takes hers.. She knows what to expect and she knows it will cause her to see things that aren’t there and even cause her to see multiple objects.. But it still scares her. She has sees elephants, clowns etc. This morning she saw multiple TV’s floating around the room, and started worrying. She started asking me, through mumbled words, “Can you see my panties?” “Do my feet stink?” “Why is my finger red and on fire??” (talking about the red light they put on her finger) then she starts getting scared.. I pray with her and it eases her mind for a few minutes but then Bri being the natural worrier that she is, (she gets it ALL from her daddy) starts getting scared again so I tell her “Bri.. Fear replaces faith, faith replaces fear.. Where there is faith there is no fear, where there is fear there is no faith..” She looks at me very intensely through her grogginess and ever so honestly says “Mom… where’d ya make that up from?… Where’d ya learn that at?” I said “Well… God Bri” and she says.. “Oh.. That was good, I knew you didn’t come up with that on your own!” <br />
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See… giggle juice brings out the best in all of us, the honest sometimes funny side of us. I don’t know how many more “giggle juice” doses my kids will have to take through out their lives but I am thankful for the memories that this “juice” gives us. As I look around the waiting room here at the hospital, I realize just how blessed we really are. I try to do this each time we take the girls in, not always easy but it helps me stay grounded and keeps me from throwing a pity party right here in the waiting room.. If I had balloons and streamers.. I might still throw one.. I know there are many parents out there who have children going through similar or worse struggles than what we face and I hope they too can find the joy in “giggle juice” as we have. Even though I was just informed by my ever so loving husband that I need to talk about how stressed I am… I think I’ll save that for another day.. <br />
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Today Bri has gone back for a rectal / vaginal scope to check for a fistula between the two. A fistula is a small tear in between the two canals that allows stool to come through the vagina. We are praying there is not one there. When she was 4 months old she developed one and had to have a colostomy for 9 months to allow it to heal. If she has one today… that will be our end result.. A colostomy.. </span>Laura Bradleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15975904819154372824noreply@blogger.com0